Seascapes- Parental Advisory

I was wondering can any parents relate similar phenomena.

I hang out with our four year-old quite a bit with the wife being a busy college bee and festival guru. So we do all sorts of things to pass the day.


A typical schedule might appear thus:-

9am- 9.30am: Here’s a book, daddy just needs ten more minutes sleep dude.

9.30am- 10am: ‘Cornflakes? No? Shreddies? No? Rice Crispies? Yes? Shit no rice crispies, sorry Daddy’s an idiot. What about an egg on toast? Cornflakes? Okay, cornflakes.’

10am- 10.30 am make whatever food his majesty has ordered and stress over him eating it all.

11.30ish (I didn’t see where the time went, either)
We get our coats on and prams or scooters ready and go for a long walk. Usually past the fishing pond, up to the shopping centre, have tea, call into his grandmother’s, have tea, walk to the park, playground, other shopping centre, lunch, more tea and home by about 5pm. Then we colour in, make stuff, play ball, play cars, pretend shopping. We also move stuff around the house to make it look like we’ve been cleaning up. Dinner then A bit of tv followed by pj’s, wee, teeth, story.

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8.30pm -9pm telling him to stop shouting down the stairs and go to sleep.


The phenomena I mentioned at the top of the piece though is something I first noticed when he was just about aged three and since I told my wife, she can’t stop noticing it either. I am constantly talking about trousers with him. Is this normal?

‘Where are your trousers?’
‘Are they your trousers?’
‘They are not your trousers.’
‘Who owns those trousers?’
‘Where’s my trousers?’
‘Give your cousin back his trousers.’
‘I’m just getting my trousers.’
‘Put your trousers back on dude!’
‘I need my trousers now,please.’
and my own favourite which I kinda shouted a little-
‘If you don’t stop that right now, Daddy’s going to have to get his trousers!’ (I have no idea really why I said this, but say it, I did)

Does this, or variations of, happen to people or am I trapped in a two legged dimension of oddness?  I’d love to hear about it.

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